God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize