is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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