thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
