My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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