You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
