I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
