Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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