What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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