I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize