don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize