They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
