I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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