why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
