I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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