Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
