You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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