Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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