is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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