You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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