i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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