Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
