Where did you get a picture of my penis
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize