Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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