Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
