They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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