Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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