I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
