dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
