When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
