Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
