Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
