Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize