the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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