awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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