I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
