puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I party with great urgency now.
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