Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
