Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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