I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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