I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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