is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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