I didn't shave. On purpose
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i came on her dog
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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