I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
