would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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