Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i think my cat just said my name.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
