I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Randomize
