we have officially lost it.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
there is puke in my bra ... again
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