So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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