I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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