you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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