Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
