Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize