We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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