So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
