This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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