No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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