I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
it's like iHOP with fire
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
