I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
