Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
