Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
