i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
