I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
