if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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