Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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