If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
