I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
