I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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