I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
