i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
