one might say we're banned from that church
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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