I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
