i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
"it" just moved
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
