So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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