sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
