so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
