Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
